Stephen Carter explains how telling everything you know can sometimes hurt others. One of his examples included a story about “a man who has been married for fifty years and confesses to his wife on his deathbed that he was unfaithful thirty-five years earlier. The dishonesty was killing his spirit, he says. Now he has cleared his conscience and he is able to die in peace.” (¶ 7)
I agree with Carter, even if the man did confess and the same time he left his wife miserable only for his own selfish reasons. He did not think about how this would affect his wife after he was gone. The man was honest at the time of no risks, but not realizing his integrity is jeopardized. Why decide on your deathbed to tell the person you love with a truth so devastating? Should his wife be sad that her husband passed or the fact that he was unfaithful to her? At that point, you don’t know if hearing the truth is a good thing. Personally, I have no clue what I would think. I’m not sure if I could go on knowing that someone that had made a promise to me was unfaithful. It is definitely a tough subject. I feel that SOMETIMES things are better left untold.
Hi Penny,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, sometimes things are best left untold. In the example given I don't think that he should have told her that he had been unfaithful to her, at least he shouldn't have told her on his deathbed. I think he should have mentioned it sooner, that way she wouldn't have to deal with the loss of her husband and the horrible truth that he was unfaithful and may now have no clue who he really is. He really shouldn't have said anything.
Hi Penny,
ReplyDeleteI also used this example that Carter used in his story. It is truly sad that many people use the truth for the benefit for themselves. This is the first time that I realized that always being honest does not mean that you have integrty.